A couple of weeks ago I was feeling down so I met with my therapist and we had a great conversation. I was explaining to her why I was so upset – One of the main things that suck about clinical depression is that it may never really go away. When I’m having a really bad depressed episode, I’m usually not in the same frame of mind and I will literally rationalize the suicidal thoughts to the point where at the time it’ll seem to make perfect sense. It’s during those dark times where I have to remind myself that this is the depression talking and it will pass. I remember that I shouldn’t make any permanent decisions based off temporary feelings. It will pass even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time. I have to remember all of the other times where I’ve felt this way and I got through it, that’s what keeps me going. When I was speaking with her it was one of those times, It wasn’t one of my really bad ones but I was still down. I was telling my therapist how frustrating and hard this daily fight can be, and how sometimes I just want to give up because giving up would relieve me from the pain and this difficult fight. She said “I understand that there is no magic pill that’ll make the depression go away but I’ve seen you fall apart and get back together over and over again. You are not where you were a few years ago. You’re more aware, you’re resilient and you’re making huge strides. You will fall again but you will get back up even faster and easier each time.” While she’s saying this I’m thinking to myself “hmmm this sounds like Humpty Dumpty.” Before I knew it my therapist says “You know it’s kind of like Humpty Dumpty. You’ll fall down but you have your coping skills, your support system, and me to help you get back up like the Kingsman.” I took it as a sign. We all are Humpty Dumpty’s in this life. We will fall because that’s life, but we will get back up. If you are going through a dark time please know that you are not alone. Don’t give into the sadness. Keep going! Let’s root for each other. Together we can break the stigma of mental illnesses. If you’re in a dark place remember unlike Humpty Dumpty you will get back up and you will put yourself back together again.
Published by SheTheWriteHer
I'm a Super Mom of two. I am a huge advocate for Autism and Mental Illness. For as long as I can remember I have suffered with depression and anxiety. Writing became my solace. "All my life I had to write". View more posts